Soooo, as the adjustment cycle goes, I thought I was going to be fine. I liked where I was, everyone was nice and I liked the food. But it only took the smallest most insifnificant details to bring me down. I swear, Its like I'm PMSing or somthing, I have very little reason to get upset.
So, we didn't go to Tokyo like I thought (I have no idea when I actually heard them say that but I did) we went to Nikko with Senzui mama's sister's family instead. And Nikko is increadibly awsome by the way!
But first, the insignificant details. It was raining, and this I didn't mind so much, but I kept getting hit with umbrellas. And when you try to take a picture, normally in America, people wait, in Japan people are oblivious. But I geuss because of the amazing populous and lake of space, if everyone waited for people to take a picture there would be some serious backupage. Other than that I looooved Nikko
But then all day I kept getting upset with little things Senzui mama would do. The other day she asked if I wanted to go an Onsen, and I felt horible for saying no, but I honostly can't do it. I feel uncomfertable half naked infront of my closest friends, there is no way I could be naked infront of strangers. So I thought she understood and wouldn't make a big deal about it. But ever single person we've met up with, she has told. And its starting to get embarasing. They all respond the same way, by looking at me all confused like and saying "but everyone is built the same". I understand this, but I look around, and its just not true. I'm built alooot different. anyway, more about my insecurities.
There are things in Japan that are not considered rude like they are in America, and I understand this, and It didn't bother me at first. Like having an audience while I weighed myself, asking me my clothing size (and then being very surprised) and responding that in Japan I was an XL. This didn't bother me, I came to terms with my weight along time ago, because I felt like it wasn't a big deal, I weigh 150lbs, see I'm not shy about it. But later that day when I happened to have the cycle triggered, we went shoping. At first it was fun because we mostly shopped for shin chan (kana's cousins son, 5) and I got to play with Yuuji (1, almost 2). But Senzui mama kept wanting to shop for me. Which I immediatly dicided I didn't want to do because of the price alone. But then I just got really embarasing. I felt like got the message that I didn't want to shop for myself accros to Kana and her cousin, but da mama kept pushing it. She would shout "would this fit Diana" accross a store, and little things like that, which I geuss in Japan isn't a big deal. But then they took me to a Japanese plus size store, and I lost it. I immediatly walked out and tried really hard not to cry. I feel so petty because I didn't think this would bother me. Oh well, horrible shoping experience. (then they baught me icecream after I said I didn't want any >.<).
Enough about my insecurities! I will blame it on the exchange cycle. And hope that next time I go shopping, the company is a little more understanding... I feel so silly for having got upset at all. But oh well, I get to meet Natilie (I was in such a bad mood I didn't go to meet her last night, I went to sleep instead... needed a cool down moment). And school will start soon.
So yesterday we went to Nikko. And I have noooo Idea what the historical significance behind it is because it was all in Japanese... but it was pretty. Like it popped right out of a Miyazaki film. Anyways, It was like going to mount rushmore... its boring to talk about but nice to look at photos so I will attach some.
Tehe... I've experienced two earthquakes so far. Once when I was at the school and once when I was taking a bath. They arn't that big a deal. The teachers explained to me that most building built within the last 20 years are earthquake proof, and sense Senzui mama's house has survied since the meiji era I will asume its can survive a few more centuries.
Well... I really don't feel like typing alot right now... sorry that most of todays blog was me whinning. I will avoid that, it doesn't do anybody any good.... so here is NIKKO!
never mind. THis uploader is soo anoying. I'm uploading to facebook. So check it out there. If you don't have one, email me and I will send you some photos. promise
Love you
Miss you
Kinda wish I was Japanese sized
Diana
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8 comments:
Ahh! God I'm sorry about your shopping experience. I would have been the same way...yeah, I'd pretty much feel like shit. Sometimes I wonder why Japanese people can't very easily mind your cultural background if you're expected to respect theirs. It strikes me as a double standard. But at the same time...maybe they're just completely ignorant and don't know that some people are self-conscious about their size. For example, a couple years ago, there was this girl in the group of Japanese girls that came and visited Stephens from the sister school who seriously had like bulimia or anorexia, I don't remember which. I think it was anorexia; she literally never ate. Ever. It was so completely obvious to all the Americans. Then she got sick from like lack of everything and was rushed to the hospital and the Stephens people were imploring the Japanese group leader that this girl had an eating disorder and needed counseling and help. But the Japanese director was denying it and saying that Japanese people don't get eating disorders, only fat Westerners do, so the girl was sent back to Japan just b/c of getting generally "sick" and her problem will never be addressed. Uggh, now I'm pissed after telling that story. Lol I should lighten up. But yeah, I know shit like that probably strikes your American mind as awful, but just tell yourself they are ignorant of the concept of different body types or something. By the way I'll probably end up making it a habit to leave long ass comments. Because I love you. :)
hm, I don't know if I have you added to my facebook...I'll look and see, 'cause I want to see the pics!
~Kye
diana keep our head up. i understand why are up set and i agree with eric a lot. they should respect you a bit more and americans are built a lot differently. we miss you so much, especially your chunky moneky she is playing right be side me with the remote. she fell asleep on same the other day! i will upload the photo to my blog for you. i love you so much!! just hang in there things will get better.
XOXOXO
The business with the baths - I assume it was public baths - and clothing sizes are things that you can deal with I feel certain. I never want you to feel badly. I really do think this sort of thing will be taken by you in stride after you have time to reflect. You are perhaps the strongest willed of all my children. (I would say so definitely but your brother and sisters will read this.) You keep your aim where you intend to go - having the year you want to have - and remember you have a place in the world and a family who love you above all others. The occasional bumps in a strange place will be less because we're always here. I'm very proud of you.
I'm soooooo sorry about the shopping experience. If you had problems I should probably stay away from the shopping scene in japan if/when i ever go. I hope all improves. Love you much.
Dude, I am SOOO sorry I haven't said anything to ya sooner. So, rock on! You're in the East! Sorry about all the culture clash you have to deal with. When it seems to be a bit much, or you feel like your personal feelings are being overlooked due to a flub in translation, remember...you possess the mighty ability of "Gaijin Smash!". Are you aware of "Gaijin Smash!" ? If not, I can point you in the right direction. I myself am a Master of the awesome art of "Gaijin Smash!". Anywho, have FUN, ok? Cuz hey! You're in JAPAN! JAPAN, baby!!! -Nick
Hang in there, honey! I don't suppose it will do much good to try and explain how you feel to her? I don't know much about Japan, but "mom" is pretty universal. I'm sure she had only the best of intentions.
We're all very proud of you for going on this grand adventure. Just remember that there are many, many more folks here pulling for you and that your family loves you dearly, no matter what.
Wishing you the best of everything,
Roxie
http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=HQSw5aUd7UE
This should cheer you up. :)
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